Aliens

If I were an alien I would think twice about attacking the earth.  We've had 150 years of training and have come up with several creative ways to take those guys out.  Whether it's coughing on them and giving them the cold virus, or flying a kamikaze ship into the heart of their ship, or using gear at area 51 that we suddenly figure out how to use, or blow up their heads with our music, we've got the strategies down.

Just a thought.

Learn Japanese (somewhat) in one day!

In case you were wondering, here is the birthday song in Japanese (according to Wiki Answers.)

Otanjyoubi omedoto
otanjyoubi omedeto
otanjyoubi omedeto (name) san
tanjyoubi omedeto!
Otanjyoubi omedoto
otanjyoubi omedeto
otanjyoubi omedeto (name) san
tanjyoubi omedeto!

Tada shikō (Just a thought)

You're not the boss of me!

I’m sure everyone has heard and that saying is “You’re not the boss of me.” Now the problem with this is you’ve got to be careful who you say it to. Let’s put this saying into two scenarios.

YOUR "FRIEND"- Finish this project for me.
YOU- You’re not the boss of me!

Now that fits just fine, but let’s try a different rout.

BOSS at WORK- Finish this project for me.
YOU- You’re not the boss of me!
Boss at WORK- You’re Fired!

Oh now that didn’t go so well. One more word of advice, “Don’t ever try that on your parents.”

Just a thought.

Slaying Cinderella

In the spirit of retiring cliches here's one that's getting old, especially with March Madness in full swing:

Calling teams that unexpectedly win "Cinderellas". I see the connection of coming out of nowhere and becoming the sweetheart of the ball, but in the end Cinderella actually marries the prince. Cinderella teams usually don't win the whole ball of wax, so it would be like Cinderella flirting with the prince but ending up with the carriage driver (who's a dog, she wouldn't want him.)

If we're going to be accurate (brutal, but accurate) these overachieving teams are more like the pea in "Princess and the Pea." No one seems to notice them at first, and they eliminate pretenders, but once a true royalty tries them out they get beat up. The pea is then put in a museum for everyone to admire, and the royalty goes off and lives happily ever after with their trophy.

Plus, the peas of the tournament keep those who gamble with their brackets up at night.


So come on everyone, let's go out and cheer on those peas!


Just a thought.

I Know How You Feel

I'd like to second a genius commentary made recently on one of my favorite blogs.

"I know exactly how you feel." We've all heard it.

I broke my leg...I know how you feel, I broke my arm once.

My life is over! I just broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years... I know how you feel.

My great grandmother called me an idiot...I know how you feel.

Of course the "I know how you feel is always accompanied by a lengthy, (yet usually unrelated) story.

But don't be discouraged. You can make a game of this. After each of their "I know how you feel" stories you can try to top them. Soon you're throwing compound fractures and bad cheese and aliens in the mix until you get to the point where they DON'T know you feel. Then when they get scared and start to move away you can say "Did my unrelated story bore and confuse you? I know how you feel."

And that's why I have no friends on Twitter.

Just a thought.